Poet Authority Poem Terminal

I said to mother.

'That's on top of the birthday,

Christmas, and for reasons I can't quite comprehend,

A wedding anniversary?'

I could scarcely believe what I was hearing,

He quickly formed controversial opinions on what's-her-name and you-know-who.

He insisted on sharing these things at parties,

And ultimately missed out on a lot of Viennetta.

Because she'd replaced a proficiency in Excel with an ability to cut worktops on her CV.

These two things weren't very similar at all.

She found herself struggling to keep up with the work.

She'd got the tent,

And the little gas stove,

And the lamp,

And the husband to heat up the sleeping bag.

She'd even drawn up plans on where to dump his body once the trip was over.

A dentist swapped them with his own.

Once the procedure was complete the patient woke to a familiar smile,

And was informed their bite might feel a little off for a while.

It was really boring so he fell asleep by accident and read the results the next day.

Everyone hated him.

But that was hardly surprising,

They'd found out he was paid to be there.

Ranch lied.

It was fine though,

No one wanted to point out how little he had going on,

So he managed to avoid quite a few arrangements just by saying it.

He recorded himself trying to get them on.

Wrote an email the boss informing him he wouldn't be able to come into work today,

Due to malfunctioning trousers,

And suggested the boss check the attached video.

It quickly became her primary hobby.

She'd spend all day and all night hacking up these carcasses,

Loading them with whatever these people use,

And putting them back together.

She became so good at her hobby that she could rattle through several animals a day.

Eventually, after running out of subjects, she had to start murdering local pets to stave off the boredom.

She even starting eyeing up boyfriends in ways she hadn't before.

The vessel continued on its journey,

Carving through the ocean.

The sailor was distraught.

He wondered if it even needed him.

He hoped to at least see it list to the side a little as it disappeared over the horizon.

Using a suitable adapter.

Some rich couple dragged me in off the street.

They insisted I admire their furniture.

They gave me latex gloves and had me stroke their wallpaper,

Feel how soft their cushions were.

And admire how plush the rug was beneath the bags wrapped around my feet.

He had such delicate hands.

The other bricklayers looked on with jealousy.

Now they had to get wives with hand cream too.

They executed it (and him) perfectly.

But they hadn't thought far enough ahead.

They were trapped in their field!

And fell over.

It took to the road solo,

Eventually crashing into a tree.

The car was disappointed in itself.

It told officers at the scene its driver had ran off.

This made it feel better.

It revved with delight.

He forgot about this.

Later he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror.

Very scary!

He fainted.

And got arrested.

Michael wasn't happy about this.

He told her,

'June I'm not happy about you flirting with other men'

June told him to get over it.