Poet Authority Poem Terminal

He set the latest in artificial intelligence to work.

Stroked the laptop's monitor.

Then informed the machine the action had taken place.

He found the experience to be lacking.

Set about shaving a neighbour's dog to resolve the situation.

He slathered the harvest all over his laptop.

Gave the petting another shot.

Eventually fur clogged the fans and he burnt his house down.

He had to explain to the fireman who was a woman that his dog burnt down the house.

And in addition that his dog was a laptop.

Plan A was weights.

He went off it quickly.

Plan B.

Chocolate.

Not what he imagined.

But he was proud of his ability to adapt.

And it was still a change of sorts.

Observed Candice.

John sloshed as he turned to face her.

She was barely more than a puddle at this point.

'Yes'

Said John.

Incapable of thinking of anything more to say.

He placed it in the drawer.

Under the old underwear.

It would be preserved for special occasions.

There were too many choices.

Bourbons,

Custard Creams,

Digestives,

Hobnobs,

The list is endless.

Bill collapsed.

He came to clutching a variety pack.

Staff stocking shelves around him.

In the morning he hid under a cupboard.

Watched as people clamped their toes in the vial contraptions.

Tried to stifle his little mouse laugh.

Of all the trees he chose to forage,

It had to be this one.

The one the couple starting having sex against.

Bob made himself as small as possible.

He wished he wasn't there.

It was making him feel suspicious.

This solved one of the key issues she had with her husband.

Describe his home as having 'ample parking'.

This helped.

Nice and cheerful.

He began to feel guilty.

Throwing rubbish in that delightful little fellow.

Peter had to start storing it all in his house.

Pests moved in.

Peter stared out the window.

At least the bin was smiling.

It was a chaotic time.

So chaotic he forgot to learn the language.

Henceforth communication contained many gestures.

His arms ached.

They had no time to recover between encounters with the locals.

This isn't how he imagined his move at all.

With an attached birthday badge.

He affixed this badge to his coat.

Gestured toward it during shopping trips.

And other excursions.

Occasionally someone would wish him a happy birthday.

He would smile and thank in return.

Strangers began to recognise him.

The effect of the badge wore thin.

He had to travel farther afield.

Jim entered the stately home.

Headphones on.

Audioguide blasting.

Binoculars scouting for signage.

Ready to consume.

She loved it!

He watched as she fondled the container.

Twisted free the lid.

Dunked her fists deep into the jar.

She licked her hands.

And sucked her fingers.

Barry's thoughts turned to envy.

She turned to Bert.

'When's it happening, Bert?'

'It's growing for the benefit of the local wildlife'

He responded.

Mary turned back to the garden.

Their child was panicking.

Struggling to untangle themselves from the shrubbery.

He observed a kangaroo.

'They look the same as our ones'

He texted to Bertha.

A fellow zookeeper.

He's given up.

The windows were wide open.

Hand drawn signs invited flies in.

James was slumped on the couch.

He watched as the flies swarmed.

This was his choice.

He was in control.

He took a selfie with the poor guy.

Sent it to his wife.

She stared at the picture.

The look of adoration on his face.

Started scrolling through pictures of them together.

Fuming.

Left the bags at home.

He imagined an attractive cashier at the other end.

Conversation topics rattled through his head.

Something about not having bags would be good.

He smiled.

This was his shot.