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Cult

A few people got together.
They bought big hooded robes and formed a little cult.
One of them ordered a large round table to fit the vibe.
It was cumbersome and didn't really fit in any of their living spaces.
Meetings devolved into complaints about the table.
How some had to squeeze around the edges to get in their seats.

Closed

Barry roamed the countryside.
Starving.
Because it was 8:30.
And no pubs were willing to feed him.

Secret

Howard made a point of using the same name for all his dogs.
This made it easier to remember password recovery questions.
People thought he was weird.
He didn't like that.
But Howard couldn't let them in on his secret.

Trek

Frank noticed the trees were leafy.
And the ground was grassy.
And the path was rocky.
His trek continued.

Carpark

Bernie searched for the busiest walks in the country.
She loved the hunt for parking spaces.
The rage emanating from other drivers trundling by as she informs them she's not ready to leave.

Fields

Frank went hiking.
He walked through a field of sheep!
And then he had to walk through another field of sheep.
And then there was another field of sheep.
Then his legs began to hurt.
Frank started to miss his computer.
There were pictures of sheep on his computer.

Goth

John regretted his decision to become a goth,
Right before the heatwave set in.

Resentment

Harvey took his cat to the vet.
It was saved!
And furious.
'I almost had eternal sleep'
Said the cat somehow.
'And you went and ruined it.'

Billionaire

Jeff claimed to be a billionaire.
His friends asked if he'd pay the bill.
He refused.
They struggled to work out whether that meant he was lying.

Starved

Vivian informed Nelson she wouldn't be cooking.
He tried to make toast.
Then starved to death.
Vivian told him she knew this would happen.
But he couldn't hear.

Smoothing

Harriet kissed Harry with her dry lips. 
And Harry kissed Harriet with his dry lips. 
They acted as sandpaper. 
Going some way to solve the issues they were having with their lips.

Gap

A beast arrived on the scene.
Teeth - with a gap!
Some other creatures aligned their veneers to defeat it.
Reflecting light off their bleach white monstrosities.
Directly into the beast's eyes.
Forcing it to cover its face.
And shuffle back into its little hovel.

Chafing

Stanley put on his jumper backwards.
Something to mix up the days a bit.
The chafing might give him reason to complain later that day.

A Poem about Tony Blackburn

Tony Blackburn signed his name.
He crossed it out.
He knew he could do better.

Bra

Patsy's bra blasted free.
Flew straight into Elvis's eyes.
He screeched in pain.
Ruining the mood.

Beast

Rob grew a dinosaur.
The neighbours complained to the council.
They were upset about the size of the beast.
And the fact their houses shook when it played.
Not to mention it feeding on several of the local children.
Rob argued that it's simply nature and they should learn to adapt.
The situation is ongoing as the local council seeks a resolution.

Ben Fogle

June got very angry.
She caught Mary watching Ben Fogle on her television.
'That's my man!'
Screamed June.
Mary slapped her in response.
And Ben Fogle roamed across some pasture or something.

Avoidance

William left a single sheet of toilet paper,
Resting atop the cardboard tube,
So it did not need replacing.

RIP

Someone died.
The posts on social media were all so tragic.
Frank was struggling to one up them.
To make his the saddest of all.
To explain how he was suffering the most.
How painful it was for him.

Slick

Kent got a leather jacket.
And combed his hair back.
And learned a new walk.
And tripped over a kerb.