Poet Authority Poem Terminal

It startled Bernie.

She punched him in the nose.

Bill dropped his tissue.

He was furious.

And joined a colony of bees.

Gene hatched a plan.

He would climb a tree.

Erect a flag declaring his love for Jean.

Only this time she wouldn't have to call the fire brigade to help him down.

Whacked it all the way up to ultra spin.

Flopped back down into my seat.

And imagined being able to feel the sort of breeze it must be generating.

Mary planned on eating a boat.

She booked tickets for a cruise.

The plan didn't work out.

Her cruise was spent unsatiated.

Kirk counted to ten.

Then he stood up.

A man named Stamples ate some pies.

Someone asked why his name was Stamples.

Stamples was too busy eating pies to answer.

Heraldine had a clear-out.

She threw away some old coasters.

A few boxes.

Some sort of jar thing.

And her husband.

She tried to explain to the last one was a mistake.

He continued to look glum.

He'd heard about their company phones and wanted in on that.

'I heard you have company phones'

He said.

'That's correct' said one of the more important people

Followed by a timeline for getting one.

Ian waited for the meeting to end.

He left the room swearing under his breath.

He organised them by sub-genre.

And alphabetically based on the author's surname.

Mario stole a toolbelt.

Well used,

From a construction site.

His new handyman persona was complete.

He loaded the belt with a brand new screwdriver set.

Roamed the streets.

And awaited a flock of propositions.

Approximately 45 minutes later he had four pizzas.

And an array of questions pertaining to his judgement.

Laid it on a table and encouraged it to evolve.

No legs had appeared.

He logged his findings and took them to the Natural History Museum.

He told staff they might want to consider removing their Darwin statue.

He used it to remove his wife's clothes.

Again.

She grumbled.

Said it was a waste of its powers.

Suggested he read the news.

Think a little more creatively.

He sent invoices to the local fire departments.

Prior to this he made a cardboard cutout of himself.

And nudged it into the view of a Sainsbury's security camera.

It slipped!

He wasn't very high up.

He had to hobble around for the next few days.

That was about it.

He guided it to his garden.

Gestured at a ball in a tree.

The giraffe showed little interest.

It roamed around doing giraffe things.

Drev was left disappointed.

But he did not give up hope.

Perhaps the giraffe would grow curious.

Perhaps Drev would get his ball back.

He'd never seen anything more vivid!

Not even real life was a match for this.

He emptied his bucket list onto a USB drive.

Plugged it in and sat right up against screen.

Served himself exotic tinned fruits.

He learned he had melted into his office chair.

He gave up and rested his head against the desk.

A puddle formed immediately where he landed.

He stared at his arms

They glistened in the sunlight through his window.