Showing posts from May, 2024


'I've caught a dinosaur!'
Proclaimed Christopher.
Shortly after this he wheeled out a grandma,
Chained to a walking frame.
Enthusiasm sapped from the room.
People thought less of Christopher.


The darkness of night.
Darker than day.
It's harder to see.
Night is dark.


Malc lit a candle.
He stared at the glow.
It was exhilarating.
So much potential for destruction,
Contained within that tiny frame.
Curiosity got the better of him.
He slid the candle beneath a curtain.
With the benefit of hindsight,
He wishes he didn't do that.


Christopher went for a walk in the rain.
He noticed he was getting wet.
'I walked in the rain and got wet'
He wrote in his diary
'No, not like that'
It continued,
In case of misunderstanding.


Prevor Tatterson's creativity was shot.
He realised it was time to have a child.
Something he could farm for ideas.
Give him something to talk about again.


Buncan went to Waitrose.
He bought a pack of sausages.
Slapped them on Geraldine's desk.
And winked.


A witch lost her job.
She filled the void by training up her black cat.
Trying to make it more marketable on TikTok.


A man obtained some keys.
He added these keys to his keyring,
Which was already filled with keys.
He pranced around and made his keys jangle.
He felt important.
Because of the volume of keys.


Ron bought some shorts.
He wasn't a fan.
The excessive exposure of knees felt unbecoming.
A longer pair of shorts were in order.
Now the shins were starting to look a bit weird.
'It's time for capris'
Muttered Ron.
'Which, if I'm correct, go to just above the ankle.'
To himself.
Well, that solved the various issues with flesh,
But now he couldn't work out what socks to wear.
Ron went back to jeans.
Good old reliable jeans.


Julius spent a week practising.
Worked out all the faces required to look like a colossal goon in YouTube thumbnails.
He monetised this new skill successfully.


An out of touch celebrity began their story.
The interviewer interjected with a humourless quip.
And they cackled at each other for the next sixty seconds.

Fish and Chips

Suzy hated her name.
Before we continue I must admit I see nothing wrong with the name myself.
But I'm not Suzy,
Suzy is.
So Suzy hated her name.
She had it changed to something she loved.
Fish and chips.
Fish and Chips began to regret her choice.
It lead to confusion.
Frequent disappointments at dinner time.

I don't like fish and chips.


Gunther lost control.
The carpet suffered.
Maudreen had to clean up,


Bennis added things to his shelf.
His shelf had a lot of things on it already.
He liked to look at them.
All of his things.


'Woo hoo!
The characters on my screen squeal.
As I sit in my dimly lit room,
Staring glumly into the glow of a monitor.

A Thought Provoking Poem

And then,
After all the desks were cleared.
The former employees were assured,
The executive at home,
Was weeping into his billions.


Stanley's girlfriend had a birthday.
'You're getting old,'
He observed.
'Any chance you could slow it down a bit?'
He said,
In addition to the previous quote.
Stanley's face began to hurt.
One side considerably more puce than the other.