Poet Authority Poem Terminal

Brian bought a tape measure.

Something to escape the family

To give her time to scroll through Instagram

Of colossal proportions

Yes him with the guitar

Hat on my head

I've got a new cat

Cat in my bed

Where's my cat?

It's in my hat

My hat shrouds my cat

My cat stole my hat

He was a prodigy of percussion

A master of the zills

Nobody respected Tony

He played the tambourine

John ate his third breakfast of the day.

Another bowl of Shreddies shovelled in.

He struggled with keeping track of time.

He offered his findings to Julie.

No matter how much he compared it to mining for gems.

She didn't want them.

Marcus set about running half way up a hill.

Marcus set about running a quarter of the way up a hill.

Marcus went home and ate a pie while thinking about the hill.

Realised the facilities were inadequate for the scale of the thing.

She started digging holes in the garden,

Urged guests to use those instead of the cupboards.

She didn't want to be scooping excrement out of the cupboards.

Not again.

Chad decided to be a bad influence.

He got a job as a teacher.

Had the children sculpt bricks out of air dry clay.

Used his whiteboard to draw diagrams of objects penetrating windows.

And science class largely covered the construction of Molotov cocktails.

He flipped on his phone's screen,

Two percent.

Quickly shut it back off.

Two days of sun!

He slipped into some sandals,

Stumbled towards Uniqlo,

And raided the shop for every summer item they had.

Then fled to the local ice cream parlour and demanded a sampling of each flavour on offer.

On Thursdays he would go to the pub.

Invite women over to admire the tomatoes.

Send them away.

Alan loved his tomatoes.

He started saying 'thank you' as presents arrived.

Unwrapping the ones that looked a bit exciting.

And loading them into his big sack.

He drew a new one on a paper bag.

One with a big smile.

Janet (his wife) showered him with compliments.

Loved the new look.

Said how much she was glad to be rid of the old one.

His expression turned sour beneath.

He was calling everyone fat,

And ugly,

And just made general comments about clothing.

Brad tried to explain the situation.

That he'd just told his friends sharks don't bite people.

That this was a bad look for all involved.

The shark appeared to be quite angry about the whole thing.

Its teeth plunging ever deeper into Brad's torso.

The evening before his birthday,

Ainsley broke into his office.

He got out the old birthday bunting and hung it over his desk.

Hoped his co-workers would notice before he arrived.

That he'd have a little more success on the present front.