Showing posts from September, 2023


Ronald got sad,
Ate so much he exploded.
This made other people sad,
But solved Ronald's problems.

Gary's Ball

Gary stared at his football.
He liked how round he was.
He reached out and prodded it with a finger.
He liked the air inside too.


Paul dug himself a hole.
Later that day he filled it with water,
Creating a pond.
But that's not all.
Even later in the day he fell in.
So he'd have a story to share.


Audrey and Ainsley bought a big new bed.
They'd use it to spice up their relationship.
The extra room enabling easier page turning.


Hurley bought store brand beans.
He replaced the labels with Heinz and displayed them in his kitchen.
Ushered guests towards his stocked shelves when they visited.

Free Ride

John launched his phone.
Dialled the big guy,
Nine nine nine.
He informed them he'd twisted his ankle,
That he'd be needing a lift to the hospital.
Which rather conveniently,
Was right next to the pub.


Barney bought a box,
Storage to tidy things up a bit.
He peeled back the lid,
Noticed how clean it was in there.
Plans changed,
He climbed in,
Made some calls,
Tried to redirect the mail.


Jack went for blood tests.
The doctor was so impressed she kept the stuff flowing.
Stuck the other end of the pipe in her own arm 
Smiled at Jack.


I love the rain
Said Jane
I love the sun
Said Bun
That's not a real name
Said Jane
It's my name
Said Bun
Irritated by the lack of rhyming that had occurred.


Stan left his bins out.
The passage of time betrayed him.
He was too embarrassed to bring them back in.
He ordered wigs and the like off Amazon and would leave for work in disguise.
Neighbours called the police.
Suspected he was operating a brothel.
As night fell the police began their raid,
They stumbled over the bins,
Breaking various limbs.
Stan's problems continued to pile up.


George feared the monsters under his bed.
Every night Liz would have to haul herself up and confirm it was safe.
She grew tired of this nonsense.
Began telling him to get over it,
Or go and sleep on the couch.


A very evil man
Wore a baggy hood
And said things like
'Kill them all'
With a gravelly voice
To really hammer the point home.


Stan called his boss,
Informed her it was too hot to work.
He held up his hands,
And they began to melt into his forearms.


For the third year in a row,
Port gifted Mira an envelope.
'More bloody book vouchers, Port?'
Her disappointment was noted,
Next year he'd slide them into a box.

More Hot Weather Observations

Carrying a bucket and spade,
Mark trudged his way to the beach.
Plopped them down to begin construction,
And watched as the tools melted into the sand.


Mike's restaurant of choice closed its doors.
He hunted down the owners.
Dragged patio furniture to their driveway,
Whipped out the old menu.

First Impression

Jeff brushed his teeth ninety-six times
And smiled at Brian


Gary upgraded his pillows.
Went to bed and decided to never wake up again.
Which, given the benefit of hindsight, he'd consider a bad idea.
Not that he'd know now.


Ken invested in a new graphics card
Suddenly the real world seemed even less appealing
He decided to strap a monitor to his head
Live in the places that thing rendered instead