Showing posts from February, 2020

Going South

Angus Walker was on another one of his hikes

He pulled a compass from his polyester (65%) pocket and turned south

Angus liked to walk south

He felt as though gravity was on his side

Poem for Lisbon

Anchor went for a trip to Lisbon

An adventurous twinge drew her to climb the terracotta roofs

She got stuck and the emergency services couldn't find her anywhere

Her fake tan was acting as camouflage, she was like a chameleon!

She prayed for rain and hoped it would wash the tint away

Funicular Ride

He stepped on the funicular

What a feeling!

It wasn't just the word he enjoyed

It was the inclination

The change in elevation

With his face and palms pressed against the window he smiled a big toothy grin

An Inconvenient Castle

Castle on the hill

My legs have no eyes

They still ache at the sight


Vivian and Colbert took a trip to the docks

There was rope everywhere

Memories rekindled brought awkward knowing glances

Colbert tried to keep his head down

The docks were his idea

It wasn't one of his best

A Situation Unfolding

The actor turned to face the camera

It was time to examine their current state of affairs

It was time to explain why the events unfolding could be amusing


Colbert carried a sausage filled plate to the bedroom and rejoined Vivian

She would have preferred a bit more variety but kept it to herself

Every bite she took was followed by a "phwoooar" from Colbert

He stared intently trying to work out if Vivian was picking up on his latest hints

Sodden Pillow

After a good night's sleep Colbert untied Vivian

He replaced her drool sodden pillow and roamed naked towards the kitchen

Colbert dug a pack of Cumberlands from the fridge and dumped them into a frying pan

He looked down and chuckled at the thought of potential mishaps


Colbert tied Vivian to the bed,
She had a ball gag in and everything.
Colbert then fell asleep.
Vivian thrashed about a bit and tried to wake him but ultimately she fell asleep too.
They resolved to never speak of this again.

Thoughts of an Astronaut

An astronaut filled his boots with sand and stashed a very long hose pipe in his spaceship.
He wasn't too keen on the idea of floating around in space and had concerns about the air quality.
He was pretty hopeful this plan would pan out.

Vivian's Nipples

Colbert admired Vivian's nipples

"I like your nipples" he said

"Thanks" she replied

Colbert felt things were starting to heat up and licked his lips seductively

Artist's Eye

The subject unfurled his erection

He quickly regretted this decision

He urged the artists to hurry things along

Ducks in the Water

He spotted some ducks frolicking in the water

He rapidly disrobed and dived in to join them

They immediately scattered

He felt unloved and unwanted

He felt very wet


He was trying to convince his wife she had been asleep for five months

He had turned the central heating all the way up

And adjusted the calendars accordingly

Man of Science

The scientist started making up new words.
It seemed to be paying off.
The other scientists were too embarrassed to question them.

Valentine's Day Poem

She asked if he knew what day it was


He burrowed deeper into a heart shaped box of chocolates

Public Transportation

Sponge bought a new book.
Something extravagant to hold on public transportation
He felt the gaze of other passengers drawn to its cover.
He felt powerful.

Double Bass

Spritz plucked away at his double bass and stared at Elsa

The new violist and played like it was nobody's business

He shuffled his chair ever closer watching the way she handled the stick thing

Her hair brushed against his arm

He flinched and yanked a string too firmly

It twanged apart and sliced Elsa's fingers off!

He found her appeal quickly diminished as blood spurted from the finger stumps

Thick Air

The air was thick and moist and very troublesome indeed

Only he dared enter the room

He had to breath in heavily just to squeeze through the door

"Everything's fine lads" he shouted

His body folded in on itself

Adventures in the Sky

An air hostess was becoming tired of her job

She spiced things up by dropping the odd drink into a passenger's lap

She liked to imagine the encounters they might have later that day

The awkward conversations


Kipling finally set up his tree and informed friends Christmas celebrations were set to begin

He insisted they bring gifts and a pre-cooked turkey

The rest of the trimmings would be appreciated too

"It's the fourth of Febbo Kippers, I'm not doing it"

"None of us are, we've moved on mate" messaging continued in the group chat

Kipling's attempts at being a contrarian didn't appear to be paying off

James Bond's Secrets

James Bond was having issues keeping track of all of his secrets

He started to write them all down in a notebook

This seemed like a good idea until the notebook went missing

He was concerned this might cause a few issues later on

A Firm Grip

Buttery Marge and her date kept trying to hold hands

He couldn't get a firm grip

He was quickly learning how her nickname came about

Kate Moss and Her Stone

Kate Moss found a stone

She felt consumed by it

Kate Moss sat on the stone

She found it eerily appropriate