Showing posts from July, 2019


He sneezed so hard he blew a hole through the tissue

And his hands

Blood splattered all over the floor

Onto the carpet too

It was set to be a difficult clean up


The bacon was still attached to the pig.
The whole situation was very inconvenient.


Her long slender fingers moved as though they could reach anything

She reached deep inside

Pulled out another and shoved it in her mouth

Flavoured powder scraped beneath her nails

She slathered all over her fingers and went for another


A man considered going for a run.
But then he thought,
No I won't go for a run.
That kind of commitment really made him appealing.


The eyes followed me around the room.
I didn't trust them.
The gallery was displeased.


Robin Hood forgot his bow.
He forgot his arrows too.
He decided to shoot everyone with a machine gun instead.

Twos: Sword

Sword swings

Swish clang


He was in the flower shop again

Third time this week

"What happened to the flowers you bought a couple of days ago mate?" asked the florist

"Ate 'em" he replied "put 'em in my cake"

The florist went back to trimming flower stems and gave the situation some thought

"God you're an idiot"


"You mean the movie that isn't very good?"

"That's three hundred. I mean two hundred, like the amount of poems written in two hundred days"

Two people were conversing

Another was sitting in the corner listening

"That sounds like too many poems to write in as many days"



Mildred blew him all night long.
She even carried on when he fell asleep.
He felt like the coolest guy in the world.


A man bought some wraparound shades.
He put them on.
He instantly turned into a twat.


The poet walked for miles.
They saw indescribable views.
Then they walked for miles more.
Listening to indescribable sounds.


He saw a switch.
He smiled.
He flipped the switch.
He didn't know what the switch did.
His smile widened.
He flipped the switch back.
Just in case.


A man couldn't find his shoes anywhere!
Thankfully he had taken a picture of their last location on his phone.
He couldn't find his phone either.
Thankfully he had taken a picture of that on his disposable camera.
Which he could find.
But he forgot to get the film developed.

Twos: Door

Turn key

Free door


Being far from prime did not deter old Bezos

He tickled luck with titillating correspondence

Amazon billions more than made up for his attempts


He was terrified

There were skeletons all around

Thankfully they were still covered in flesh

Which took the edge off a bit


He managed to change the light bulb all on his own

He was delighted with himself

Especially after all of those horrible stories he'd heard


"With a head that size he must be a brain box!"

The parents look at each other as the children gallop about a toy littered hall

"Afraid not, he's a complete thicko"


A man shook his sack and winked at his wife.
"Not now dear."
She looked at him sternly and continued filling in forms.
He sighed and packed away his Scrabble board.


The desk was so dusty he didn't want to disturb the lives within

Such an altruistic nature should be applauded

His partner disagreed with a disapproving tut


"I have a plan!"
He said with such conviction that everyone believed he had a plan.
He didn't but enjoyed the attention so much he went with it.
Things didn't end particularly well.

Twos: Hike

Walk far

Legs ache


He pushed the glasses up his nose

Studied the dining table

And could tell by the paper plates

And the pineapple and cheese on sticks

That this was going to be a classy evening


I hated you.
Then I loved you.
Because I'm materialistic.
And you showered me with gifts.
But then the gifts stopped.
Now I hate you again.


Tomorrow is the future

No one knows what the future holds

Tomorrow is in your hands


He flipped over the coaster

It's like the drink's being protected from the table

He chuckled and thought about something else instead


Sue escaped the studio.
She followed the crumbs.
Now she basks in the sun.
The men rally round.


He loved to remain mysterious.
Which explained the balaclava.


"It's a bit like playing tennis" she remarked as she smashed his balls to pieces.
"Yes" he grunts "is Tim Henman still going?"
He was bent over the kitchen table.
"He's an analyst now" she replied "he seems to enjoy it."

Twos: Talk

Move mouth

Make noise