Brian ordered a hat off Amazon.
The postman hurled it down the driveway and smashed the door a few times with a telescopic rod.
"Thank you" screamed Brian, appreciating the brief contact with another human.
He hauled the parcel inside, blasted it with disinfectant, and tore in.
Brian fished the hat from some diarrhoea scented packing material and slapped it on his head.
He looked into a mirror and held a conversation with the stranger.