Major Clapping

The government issued another clapping.
Some old chap had died.
Everyone had to bundle out of their homes otherwise they'd be executed.
The neighbours hadn't seen each other in months, they all started gossiping.
Some suggested that maybe the government's advice was what killed him in the first place.
Boris Johnson appeared on big screens and over newly installed loudspeakers.
He insisted the proles clap louder to drown out any such nonsense.