Resentment
Harvey took his cat to the vet.
It was saved!
And furious.
'I almost had eternal sleep'
Said the cat somehow.
'And you went and ruined it.'
Posts
Showing posts from April, 2025
Billionaire
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Jeff claimed to be a billionaire.
His friends asked if he'd pay the bill.
He refused.
They struggled to work out whether that meant he was lying.
Starved
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Vivian informed Nelson she wouldn't be cooking.
He tried to make toast.
Then starved to death.
Vivian told him she knew this would happen.
But he couldn't hear.
Smoothing
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Harriet kissed Harry with her dry lips.
And Harry kissed Harriet with his dry lips.
They acted as sandpaper.
Going some way to solve the issues they were having with their lips.
Gap
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A beast arrived on the scene.
Teeth - with a gap!
Some other creatures aligned their veneers to defeat it.
Reflecting light off their bleach white monstrosities.
Directly into the beast's eyes.
Forcing it to cover its face.
And shuffle back into its little hovel.
Chafing
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Stanley put on his jumper backwards.
Something to mix up the days a bit.
The chafing might give him reason to complain later that day.
A Poem about Tony Blackburn
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Tony Blackburn signed his name.
He crossed it out.
He knew he could do better.
He crossed it out.
He knew he could do better.
Bra
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Patsy's bra blasted free.
Flew straight into Elvis's eyes.
He screeched in pain.
Ruining the mood.
Beast
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Rob grew a dinosaur.
The neighbours complained to the council.
They were upset about the size of the beast.
And the fact their houses shook when it played.
Not to mention it feeding on several of the local children.
Rob argued that it's simply nature and they should learn to adapt.
The situation is ongoing as the local council seeks a resolution.
Ben Fogle
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June got very angry.
She caught Mary watching Ben Fogle on her television.
'That's my man!'
Screamed June.
Mary slapped her in response.
And Ben Fogle roamed across some pasture or something.
Avoidance
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William left a single sheet of toilet paper,
Resting atop the cardboard tube,
So it did not need replacing.
RIP
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Someone died.
The posts on social media were all so tragic.
Frank was struggling to one up them.
To make his the saddest of all.
To explain how he was suffering the most.
How painful it was for him.