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Showing posts with the label Family

Tyrannosaurus

The children brought their pets to school.
One had a T. rex.
It ate the other children.
The parents began to question the idea.
"Why would you let a child bring a dinosaur to school?" they asked.
The teachers had to admit they hadn't considered the possibility.
They offered to replace the children.
It seemed like the only option.

Snap

Queen Lizzo peeled her prince from the cupboard and rolled him into the garden.
The guards unfolded his legs and propped him up for a quick snap.
As the birthday trumpets howled the wind caught Phil.
The guards ran around helplessly, desperate to catch him.

Return

Parents drove by the school and launched their rainbow children from the car windows
The tyres squealed into the distance
They had celebratory lattes to attend
The teachers had flipped over their desks and were hiding behind them
The children were picking their noses and licking their hands and their desks and things like that
Occasionally the parents would complain about having to pick up their children in five hours

Bolt

Cumslap's aerodynamic dome blasted through the countryside
The child took too much effort to handle alone and still couldn't be shipped off to prison
His wife's inefficient locks fluttered in the wind
He detested the whole situation
He wheezed with rage all over the roads and trees and family and northerners

School

Benedict and Elizabeth dragged little Wilbur through his uniform and folded him into some heavy duty cardboard
They sealed him up, affixed a selection of pictures from their photo album of the Queen, and scrawled "school" on the side
They included a few additional notes, chiefly some contact details for Wilbur's nanny and a declaration that the child is the school's problem now

Family Panto

Godfry stared at his own family and leaked with jealousy
All they'd do was sit around watching Bullseye on repeat
Other families on his internet seemed to be having a blast during the lockdown
Godfry ordered 200 outfits off Amazon set up a costume department in the kitchen
He forced the children into them and set his camcorder on crates of masks and latex gloves
The camcorder whirled into action and the children danced and sang
Godfry wanted to be big on the internet too

Isolation

Hannibal sat grinning in his gazebo.
He'd ordered it off the internet after becoming tired of his family.
It was decorated with a deckchair and two soap filled bowls.
Hannibal sloshed his hands deep into the bowls and leaned back in his deckchair.
He felt invincible.

Castle

A couple visited a castle.
The wife kept comparing the skirting boards to the ones in their house.
She commented on how straight they all were.
Not even a gap above the carpets.
The husband had enough of it all.
He claimed the castle as his own and lopped off his wife's head with a sword plucked from the wall display.
People talked about him less enthusiastically than kings of the past.

Christmas

Santa slumped in a crusty leather armchair.
His beard was unkempt and filled with crumbs.
He was getting more and more irritated by how late people were leaving their requests.
The elves were complaining about the yearly crunch.
Rudolph sat in the corner licking the woodchip wallpaper.
His antlers clacked against the television.