Poet Authority Poem Terminal

Barry agreed to marry Susan.
He'd forgotten he was gay!
He realised his mistake at the altar.
It was a terrible time for Susan.
Barry didn't feel great about it either.

The weatherman informed his wife of a deadly storm.
"You must stop bringing your work home dear" she insisted.
She peeled off his bold grey suit, unhooked his tie, and folded up his spectacles.
He sat in fetching string vest and striped briefs.
Felt free.
"Maybe you're right, love" he said "maybe you're right."
His ankles became unpleasantly moist.
He noticed a newspaper floating through the living room.
"But then again..." he said, before his wife shushed him and climbed onto his lap.

Pumpernickel and Sizzler arranged to meet up in John Lewis
They sought out the narrowest aisles and walked down them together
Occasionally they would brush against one another
Pumpernickel would occasionally hold items for a while before placing them back down
Sizzler would rush and pick them up soon after
Taking deep breaths of Pumpernickel's scent

Boots told Jessica so many times how much he adored her body
Finally she had been convinced to sleep naked
Boots was pleased to have finally found some bait for the spiders

Things between Mindy and Findy were going quite well
That was until Findy ate so much chocolate that he turned into a full size chocolate man
He couldn't work out how it happened
The science of it all quickly became irrelevant and he just had to accept he was made out of chocolate now
When he broke the news to Mindy she was understandably shocked
Sucking the tears back into her eye holes she held her arms out wide
Findy stepped into them and Mindy squeezed him tight
Unfortunately Mindy's abnormally high body temperature melted Findy into a brown glob
It was just one piece of bad news after another for Mindy

Abe sat heavily in his armchair
He rolled to the floor and flipped around
Admiring the grooves he'd created
He touched them and fondled them
Abe leant forward and consumed himself with a long, thick snort

Edwin pulled on his slippers and exercised his way to Lizzy's
He finally made it, legs quivering as they kissed through the window
They gobbed all over it with their hands pressed firmly against the protective shield
Edwin then rushed home to wash his mouth and hands thoroughly
His hands felt raw and the taste was horrific

Vivian and Colbert were engaging in role play
Vivian wore a nurse costume and quarantined Colbert to the bedroom for two weeks
She would occasionally knock on the door and ask how he was doing
Colbert struggled to feign enthusiasm for the scenario

Colbert admired Vivian's nipples

"I like your nipples" he said

"Thanks" she replied

Colbert felt things were starting to heat up and licked his lips seductively

She asked if he knew what day it was

"Friday"

He burrowed deeper into a heart shaped box of chocolates

He wafts into the nearby bakery after admiring their islands of bread

A woman behind the counter greets him with upturned lips that glisten beneath the low light

He takes the time to admire her islands too

He grabs several loaves of bread and begins to rend them asunder

Dolloping out an elaborate message of love on the crimson tiled floor

She watches as he then takes a sausage roll and begins to make suggestive motions with it

Finally he stands over his message with his arms spread and crumbs tumbling from his raincoat

"Well?" he stands proudly

"You realise you've got to pay for all of that, right?" she replied

His heart sank into his loafers and his body fell onto the bed of bread words

I hated you.
Then I loved you.
Because I'm materialistic.
And you showered me with gifts.
But then the gifts stopped.
Now I hate you again.

You have a perfectly adequate face.
More than good enough for my taste.
In that face you have some eyes.
They're fine combined with your thighs.
Which are great for helping you walk.
And you have lips to help you talk.
If I really had to.
I guess I'd say I love you.