Poet Authority Poem Terminal

"It's like rogering Medusa"
He observed.
Fists tangled in thick perm-like hair.

After months of Zooming Reginald and Delia finally went on their date.
Reginald had knocked up a couple of sticks to help with the distancing.
He'd stuck hooks on the ends and used them to release Delia's coat from her shoulders.
He pulled out Delia's chair with his hooksticks and knocked her back in place like a snooker ball.
He edged his way around the table pressing hard against the wall.
The ambience of the restaurant and the giant void between them made conversing difficult.
They screamed pleasantries and mimed rain and stuff like that.

Pumpernickel and Sizzler arranged to meet up in John Lewis
They sought out the narrowest aisles and walked down them together
Occasionally they would brush against one another
Pumpernickel would occasionally hold items for a while before placing them back down
Sizzler would rush and pick them up soon after
Taking deep breaths of Pumpernickel's scent

Colbert tied Vivian to the bed,
She had a ball gag in and everything.
Colbert then fell asleep.
Vivian thrashed about a bit and tried to wake him but ultimately she fell asleep too.
They resolved to never speak of this again.

Colbert admired Vivian's nipples

"I like your nipples" he said

"Thanks" she replied

Colbert felt things were starting to heat up and licked his lips seductively

Buttery Marge and her date kept trying to hold hands

He couldn't get a firm grip

He was quickly learning how her nickname came about

He wafts into the nearby bakery after admiring their islands of bread

A woman behind the counter greets him with upturned lips that glisten beneath the low light

He takes the time to admire her islands too

He grabs several loaves of bread and begins to rend them asunder

Dolloping out an elaborate message of love on the crimson tiled floor

She watches as he then takes a sausage roll and begins to make suggestive motions with it

Finally he stands over his message with his arms spread and crumbs tumbling from his raincoat

"Well?" he stands proudly

"You realise you've got to pay for all of that, right?" she replied

His heart sank into his loafers and his body fell onto the bed of bread words

As the man lit some scented candles they filled the air with flowery guff

Finally he was making an effort

He cooked some chicken to perfection with a delicious crispy coating

He even wrote 'I love you' with the alphabetti spaghetti

The napkins were folded in vague animal shapes

Everything was looking perfect

A rogue flame flickered away and caught one of the animal napkins and set the whole building on fire

The chicken was ruined

Desperate to impress a woman,
He kicked the ball with all his might.
He felt the bone in his leg shatter.
He tried to mask the pain as best he could.
Challenged his date to a hopping race home.
He wouldn't take no for an answer.

Surrounded by the sights of Paris,
She awaits a kiss atop the Eiffel Tower.
He takes in the view, oblivious.

A woman shifts in her sleep knocking over the toaster.
A man had misunderstood her request.
She brushes the crumbs off her morning flesh, calls him an idiot and departs.
The barely warmed bread has fallen out of the toaster, he palms it, melancholy.

A man, blind, wakes from slumber.
Night's alcohol still wreaks havoc.
He fumbles for the bedroom door.
A right turn would carry him towards his bathroom.
Ground disappears from beneath him.
At this moment he recalls meeting a woman.
The base of two flights of stairs now house his smashed up innards.

The poet and his partner sit atop a hill in the Lake District.
Looking to the sky she points out a bird.
"Two birds" he says, spotting another in the distance.
"Yes, two birds."
They hold hands, clammy due to the effort exerted so far and continue on.
Thoughts drift towards man's inhumanity to man.
Neither mention it.