Poet Authority Poem Terminal

Angus Walker sat watching programmes about farming
The possibilities were causing a stir
He slapped on his hiking boots and charged around the house
The plastic cows once dotted throughout were now herded onto the kitchen counter
He tugged a carving knife off a questionably secured magnetic strip and hacked away
Desperate to retrieve the steaks within

Sue escaped the studio.
She followed the crumbs.
Now she basks in the sun.
The men rally round.

It wasn't his typical Friday night

He poured out a glass of wine and turned on Sky Sports

Then farted so loudly he worried the neighbours might hear

If they inquired he'd be blaming David Seaman

That sounded like a name he had heard before

A thunderous sound reverberated around the apartment again

'Damn it David Batty!' he screamed

The plan was already falling apart

A man walks into a shop and asks for 40 candles.
Misunderstanding, the shopkeeper retrieves four teak handles.
After brief chuckle the man enunciates more clearly his request.
The shopkeeper understands and directs him towards the candles.