Poet Authority Poem Terminal

A couple visited a castle.
The wife kept comparing the skirting boards to the ones in their house.
She commented on how straight they all were.
Not even a gap above the carpets.
The husband had enough of it all.
He claimed the castle as his own and lopped off his wife's head with a sword plucked from the wall display.
People talked about him less enthusiastically than kings of the past.

Mindy filled her freezer with ice cube trays.
Then sat around all night waiting for the water to freeze.
It was so thrilling she could hardly contain herself.

The gardener was disappointed with the stream from his hose.
He gave the nozzle a good scrubbing and had another go.
He squeezed firmly and beamed at the powerful squirt.

The comedian walks on stage and plucks the microphone off the stand.
He leans on the microphone stand adopting the comedic stance.
The audience laughs.
He breathes into the microphone.
The audience laughs.
With such a positive reaction he glances around and breathes again.
Everyone's loving it.
He looks forward to a future of panel show appearances.

As the man lit some scented candles they filled the air with flowery guff

Finally he was making an effort

He cooked some chicken to perfection with a delicious crispy coating

He even wrote 'I love you' with the alphabetti spaghetti

The napkins were folded in vague animal shapes

Everything was looking perfect

A rogue flame flickered away and caught one of the animal napkins and set the whole building on fire

The chicken was ruined

The man sees a bush.
He looks at the bush.
The bush leaves.
He is alone.

"Oi mate, what do you think you're doing?"

He suggested what he was doing seemed rather self-evident

This did not go down well

Tony was always up for a laugh

He glued his toe to his knee

It was really strong stuff too

He was wriggling about on the floor cracking up

Even the carpet burns didn't concern him

Tobias sobbed into his string back driving gloves.
For two years now they'd gone unused.
The deadline for the classic car meet had passed yet again.
His face was smeared with oil and other such car substances.
The sun shone brightly on the exposed wheel hubs and support bricks.
Carless, he decided he'd tag along anyway.
He would arrive with a crimson toolbox and a plan.

Roof leaks

Wet drips

Rain tumbles about the street

Splattering on the pavement

A man walks coated

Hands pocketed

Gliding from street light to street light

His advancing scalp glistens

It was my turn to meet the village hound

Malcolm

I went to pet Malcolm and he gnawed my arm off at the elbow

I knew it was risky wrapping myself in sausages before we met

But I had to admit I underestimated the risk a little

Pink leathery skin

Crackles in the afternoon sun