My best friend is a robot
We met when he fell from space
The only way we can communicate
Is through a fax machine on his face

My best friend is a robot
It can turn into a car
He wanted me to ride him
But I wouldn't go that far

His eyes are orange light bulbs
Eventually one of them blew
People thought he was flirting
Looking for an easy screw

We went down to the local bar
Where burly patrons showed aggression
Who despite my robot's metal frame
Were insulted by his seductive expression

I smashed up my neighbour's car that night
To steal an indicator light
My robot was chuffed to bits
When I gave it back full sight

I heard my neighbour hit a cyclist
Who didn't know he was turning
But I don't care because my best friend's a robot
Our relationship still strongly burning