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Showing posts from October, 2025

Disconcerting

A black cat.
The most disconcerting of all cats.
Stared at something.
And moved in an curious manner.
Then jumped.
Scaring its housemate.
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Jelly

Ethel took up squats as an exercise regime.
Did so many her legs turned to jelly.
She collapsed to the floor.
Began to consume her legs.
Soon there were no legs left.
And the squats were a waste of time.

In America they have decided to refer to jelly as 'jello'. That's a brand name. I do not accept it. It's not the worst thing to have happened though, so while I do not accept it, it's ranked pretty low on my list of things to be concerned about.
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Laces

A ghost,
Missed lacing up his boots before journeys.
Something he never thought would happen while alive.

It's sad to think about how many ghosts there must be and how many of them miss doing things. Scary too, like Halloween. I own a pair of boots I use for walking. They were designed for purpose rather than fashion. Very comfortable. My feet remain blister free no matter how long the journey, or at least to the maximum length of journey I have so far achieved, but there were no signs of any issues after that, so it could have gone on a while longer.
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Walls

Edith screamed.
A scream so loud it penetrated the walls of her terraced house. 
Neighbours called the police. 
Fearing murder. 
Or worse. 
It was worse.
Her husband had stepped out of the bathroom. 
His beard detached. 
A moustache remaining his only embellishment.
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Eye

Mary stared into her bowl of soup.
She saw an eyeball looking back at her.
Horrified she waved the waiter over.
He shambled to the table.
Sort of like a zombie.
He scooped out the eyeball with his bony fingers and ate it.
She looked up at him.
He was a zombie.
Oh no!

I wrote this rather frightful poem conveniently close to Halloween. I wasn't eating a bowl of soup at the time, but I was thinking about soup. Then I started thinking about the sort of things you might find in soup. Then I put pen to paper in a metaphorical sense and wrote this using a keyboard.
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Spooky

A man walked.
One foot in front of the other.
In a fashion suggesting he'd known how to do this for quite some time.
On his journey he encountered traffic lights.
No bother.
And gravestones.
Spooky.
Also it was quite dark.
There were eerie sounds too.
Even spookier
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Prize

A woman sat by a river.
Shot 52 ducks so far.
She grabbed the 53rd.
Screamed into its dopey face.
Demanded to know when her cuddly toy was coming.
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Boxes

A man threw out some boxes.
He watched the recycling lorry thing come and scoop them up.
The regret was instant.
He jumped in and tried to fish out his boxes.
Ultimately tarnishing the entire load.

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Upgrade

Herbert entered his third year.
Of contemplating the purchase of a new office chair.
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Form

Mark received a form.
Tried to fashion the pages into a rope.
Wondered if the ceiling would support his weight.
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Sarcophagus

Peter climbed into a sarcophagus.
He anticipated the curator passing by.
He thought it would be a lot of fun.
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Glazing

Harry got double glazing installed.
He informed his friends with a brief message.
Along the lines of 'I've just had double glazing installed!'
But originally with an incorrect autocorrect.
So he spent a while explaining that.
One of the friends responded.
They included a picture of their triple glazing.
And a thumbs up.

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Necessity

Hank thought of something clever to say.
All that was left was to invent a time machine.
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Tins

Ray talked about tins.
The size of tins.
The shape of tins.
Storage purposes for tins.
By the time he was done he looked around.
His wife had left him.
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Bothersome

At three in the morning.
Debbie unlocked her telephone.
And began googling how to play her didgeridoo.
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Whispers

Martin swears he heard the trees talking about him.
He broke into a military base and stole a ghillie suit.
Then camped out in the forest.
Stayed very still.
And observed.
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Screws

Dave imagined himself doing DIY.
He went out and bought a selection of screws.
Rolled them between his fingers and imagined where shelves might go.
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Sausages

Mildred didn't even bother with cocktail sticks.
She went for those little sausages by the fistful.
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Extras

Quesly bought some new additions for Instagram posts.
He unpacked fruit.
Leafy things.
Plates.
Cakes.
And of course a twenty something year old woman.




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Shirt

Mark went to the gym.
He lifted up heavy things and then put them down again.
This went on for months.
His shirt began to disappear from posts on social media.
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Fishy

Buncan Dacon cooked fish.
This went on every afternoon for a week.
With the goal of irritating his housemates.
He was pleased to report it worked.
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Catastrophe

A man drank so much he forgot which woman was his wife.
This caused quite a few ongoing problems.
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Hug

Two lovers wouldn't stop hugging.
They clogged up the supermarket aisles.
Queues formed.
People started ramming them with their shopping trolleys.
Desperation was setting in.
Ham was required and they were not getting it.
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